Daily Bread

This morning, I woke up and tended to the important business of catching up on all the blogs I like to read. Blog after blog continued to talk about fall and how it was quickly approaching, or in some places, beginning to show its early signs. That must have stuck with me subconsciously as I got dressed. I put on a pair of jeans, rolled them into capris, put on my black camisole with a shirt over it, got J dressed in roughly the same type of clothes, walked outside (sans the usual water bottles), and DIED of heat! Fall may be coming, but not any time soon in the Midwest! We are still very much so in the summer temps--at least for this Alaskan girl!

Hello, friends! I'm hoping to start blogging more regularly now that summer is, kind of, winding down. Way too much has happened to try to catch up, so I'll just start with now and we'll all have to wait and see if catching up is really in the cards.

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I wanted to share a few videos I came across that really spoke to my soul this morning. We've been going through some trials lately that I honestly never saw coming--which I guess is the case with most trials in life. I'm one of those pretty cold hearted and, most likely, emotionally stunted people that can basically turn off emotions when I reach my breaking point. For example, before I got married, I never really had break ups that destroyed me because my usual pattern would go something like this: initial break up, dramatic crying/my life is over, I start to get annoyed with myself and all the emotions, decide I'm over it, cut said person out of my life, and move on.  It's not a very admirable quality, and I always thought it would come and bite me in the butt at some point--but I've been going a good 26+ years in this way and so far so good. (Good meaning I haven't gone crazy in a grocery store when seeing a loaf of bread triggered all past emotions I never dealt with properly.)

Anyways, I sort of reached my peak of emotions in the past couple days and have drifted into the "I'm over it" stage. Which really means I'm starting to accept my situation and give up on all of my previous desires. Unfortunately, this scenario isn't one where I get to just "cut people out" and "move on." I know I'm running the risk of being one of those annoying people that talks about a problem, but doesn't actually tell you what the problem is. All that ambiguity just really gets under my skins sometimes, so I'll move on.

Today I came across these videos and they helped me remember what's important. I had previously reached a point in this trial where I knew I needed to renew my efforts in doing the "little things" like this first video talks about. 

This second video describes what happened to me this morning. I woke up with a renewed hope. I don't know why the timing was the way it was, but I woke up and I suddenly cared again. I know that I carried this burden for as long as I could, and now Christ and the Atonement are making up the difference. I'm moving forward in the way that I know I need to because I know that Christ is carrying me the rest of the way. I'm exhausted emotionally! Let me tell you what! But I have hope again, which hasn't been present for a few weeks. I like how he talks about how it doesn't mean we know when it will work out--there's no time frame given--we just know that day by day it will work out. Eventually we'll see the end. Right now, I can still feel that I'm in the thick of this trial. I haven't had the sense that the burden has been completely lifted, but I do have the sense that at some point it will be over and I'll survive and be better off because of it--just like all of the other trials before this one.

Then here's the last one in the series. Also, very good.

If you're interested in knowing a little bit more about who Elder Christofferson is.