Arrows pointed out

I have a list of topics I want to write about and discuss with all two of my readers :), but today none of them were really speaking to me (the topics, not the readers). I didn't feel passionately enough about any of them to make them even sort of worth reading. I was perusing Facebook when one of my friends posted a link to this article review. I'll be honest, I still haven't even read the original article, but it reminded me of an observation I have made in recent months.

When I was single, I thought I wasn't selfish. Then I got married. When I got married I realized how selfish I really was as a single person. When I got married, I thought I wasn't selfish. Then I became a mom. When I became a mom I realized how selfish I really was when it had just been K and I. 

I'm no saint, but I can say without a doubt that marriage and becoming a mom have made me into a much better person than I would have been had I not made those life altering decisions. Obviously, people can be kind and thoughtful without being married or becoming a parent. However, the kind of consideration for others it takes to be even remotely good at being a spouse and parent is not something that can be learned in any other capacity. 

Growing up, my mom always had a saying, "Keep your arrows pointing out." It was the visual I always needed, especially as a kid, to remember to think about others. If your arrows are pointing in, you want all the attention to be on you, you are only thinking of yourself, and you don't understand why others aren't doing the same. 

While it is still easy to have your arrows pointed in as a spouse, there is no way you can do that as a mom. When that tiny little human being turns from "the sea monkey on the ultrasound" to a real live human with wants and needs, the time for perpetual 'arrows pointing in' is gone...forever! I've always been an extremely competitive person--I like to be good at whatever I do. One reason I became a stay at home mom (SAHM) was because I realized very quickly there was no way I could be good at being a teacher and be good at being a mom all at the same time. I'm not saying others can't, I'm just saying I couldn't. If I was doing a great job at being a teacher, that meant I was not doing all that I needed to for J at home. If I was doing a great job at being a mom, I was not giving all that I needed to my students. I couldn't take that kind of failure! I chose to be a SAHM and it has made the biggest difference in my life, my husbands, and my daughters. People look down on it (to be honest, I used to look down on it), but until you feel that little baby in your arms and the weight of their every need is placed on you and your spouse's shoulders, you'll never understand the decision I've made. Being a SAHM has made all the difference in my life and my desire to become a better person. I will never understand society's need to tear down those that want to be a mom and have a family, but for whatever reason, it is there. 

I can't decide how to end this post, but I can provide you with the best graphics I have ever made during nap time.

No:

Yes:

You're welcome.

PS: So *EVERYONE* will stop asking me to show them pictures of what it looks like when J wakes up before I've finished my post.