Sorry this is bad quality. But this is out J's bedroom window. This is usually a small little creek that is down a hill. It usually doesn't even touch any of the trees!
I didn't take this, but a friend posted this on Facebook. This is about 10 minutes away from our house! Sooo crazy! Also, why would you drive into this once you see another car stuck?
You can see more pictures here.
***
During college, I had a job driving LDS missionaries from their training center to the airport. I would just shuttle them back and forth, about an hour one-way. After a few weeks, I started to be so over music. I began listening to Dr. Laura. Judge me if you will, but she is entertaining! I don't agree with all of her feelings and opinions, but I do agree with many. I follow her blog and, from time to time, she posts some articles I find interesting. I found 2 in the last week that perked my interest. I'll share one today and one tomorrow.
Today, she posted 13 Things to Discuss Before You Marry. I won't comment on all of her thoughts, but there were a few that took me right back to 2006 when K and I started dating.
1. Money.
This one was an easy one. We are both cheap. We learned after we got married that we both never really saved, we just never spent money. Getting married when you're still fairly young (I was 22 and K was 25), we still didn't really know how we spent our money because we hadn't had a chance to make a lot of big purchases yet. We soon found that we were pretty identical though. We like to buy nicer products and then take care of them. We've both learned that buying cheap usually means you have to replace them so often that it just makes sense to buy quality products from the beginning and then just take care of them.
2. How alike are you?
Dr. L talks about how you shouldn't go off of the notion that "opposites attract." K and I are different and the same? I think most marriages are like that. Both of us don't like to be the center of attention (K more so than me), but I am definitely more outgoing than K. We both have leveled each other out since we got married. K is more outgoing and I have chilled out a lot. I like it! I see them as positive changes!
3. Communication skills.
I came from a family that talks about...well...everything. We talk until we are blue in the face and have no problem calling each other out on just about...well...everything. Our communication is usually pretty firey, but in the end, we get to the root of the problem fast and get the problems resolved. K's family is way more reserved and nice to each other haha. I would say communication was one of our biggest growing pains while dating since we came from such opposite backgrounds. We have come a long way, and continue to improve. Marriage is all about evolving and growing together! (A topic for another day).
4. Life outside of marriage.
As a result of some of my friendship issues in the past, I knew I needed to be careful not to smother K. When we first got married we started reading (and I really want to make time to finish) the book His Needs, Her Needs. The author talks about having activities to do together and having activities that are for you. We both had hobbies that we really loved that didn't necessarily involve the other. We made a deal that I could always play soccer and K would support me, and K could always play the guitar or go mountain biking and I would support him. I made sure that whenever he had his guitar out I just enjoyed the music and never rushed him to put it away (it helps that he's super good). If his friends called to go mountain biking, I always did everything I could to make sure he could go. K has always been the same way with me either coaching or playing on old-foggie soccer leagues. It's so nice to not have to feel guilty about wanting to do our activities!
5. Do you want to have kids?
There are 6 kids in K's family and 5 in mine. We both loved having a lot of siblings and have always agreed on how many kids we want. We've always seen eye to eye on what we expected in regards to discipline or parenting styles. Obviously, since becoming an actual parent we've evolved into more realistic expectations (haha), but since we started on the same page and evolved together it's been a real none issue.
6. Employment.
Since K had basically NO IDEA what he wanted to be when we first met, we've made all career choices together. It's been nice :)
7. Sex! Find out what each other's fantasies are. If their fantasies include small farm animals, you know to hit the eject button.
Dr. Laura's words, haha
8. Daily life:
This is one we didn't discuss! It added some real life to our newly wed euphoric state :). For the first few years we just both paid the bills. Whoever had time just did it. Since I've stayed home I've had to pry the bills out of K's death grip! I just have so much more time to do them and our budget. I've had to get better about communicating to K what's been happening (the reason for his death grip), and he has learned to relax without that responsibility. Fun Fact: We are WAAAAY better at staying on our budget since just one of us is paying the bills.
9. How committed are you to the relationship?
10. Personal space.
11. How are you going to keep the marriage exciting?
12. Family.
A few days before K and I got married I had a total break down. I was worried I was never going to be able to see my family again and made him promise I could go see them at least once a year. He got nervous because he wasn't sure we could afford it. Thank goodness for parents that are generous with their air miles! He's always been understanding of how close I am with my family and been willing to let me go whenever I want. (Good man :))
13. Know your odds. Statistics show that couples who live together before they're married are more likely to get divorced.
I never knew that was statistically proven, but I believe it.
Did any of these questions stand out to you? Did you or your spouse discuss these? Do you plan on discussing them with your spouse?
No comments:
Post a Comment