Christmas on my mind

I've got Christmas on my mind. Not the good 'Christian' in me type of Christmas, but the 'what do I want to give my child for Christmas' type of Christmas. J is way into copying me and everything I do. A typical conversation with us:

Me: Should we put our coats on?
J: No.
Me: Ohhh, I can't wait to put my coat on
J: Me too, Mom!

Don't let this scenario fool you, we still have plenty of running away when I want her to do something, but we do get our fair share of her wanting to be just like me. (She knows what's good for her, keeping her inheritance in check ;)

Anyways, I think her big "Santa Gift" this year will be one of those play kitchens with food and dishes to go along with it. We live in a small apartment and I wasn't sure if I wanted one, especially because we would most likely keep it in our kitchen so her room isn't too cramped. I don't know about you, but I feel myself hovering over a blurry line between wanting my house to look nice and wanting my kid to have fun. Those play kitchens are sooooooo ugly! I saw one similar to this one on sale at Costco the other day:

While it's definitely not as bad as the giant honkin' plastic ones I've seen, I'm still not crazy about the multicolored look. Also, on big items like this, we've always tried to not buy things that are too girly. Odds are that at some point we would have a little boy. Do boys care? Probably not, but K does :) That being said, I couldn't help but find myself getting excited over all of the sweet accessories!

I've also had my eye on Ikea's play kitchen for quite some time:

Definitely a nicer look, but again, I'm hovering that line between what I want my house to look like and what J would like more. I know I probably should just give up the dream, but it's so hard! In all reality, she would be happy with either, especially because she wouldn't know what she'd be missing out on with whichever one I choose. This definitely falls under the category of "First World Problems!"

What is everyone thinking for their little ones for Christmas?

Anyone have any opinions on these kitchens?

Anyone else still holding on to the dream of a nice looking house? When does that die? :)

A "Good Mom Day"

I was just trying to play catch-up on our family blog (I try to use it more as a family journal, but I'm failing miserably!). The post was about J turning 2, but the conclusion slowly started turning into my most recent thoughts on motherhood. (Side note: feeling extremely narcissistic about that now that I've actually typed it out and you all have read it.) However, it made me think of a topic that I wanted to talk about with you--here's the concluding paragraph and then I'll get to my topic:

I'm trying my hardest to get out and go do stuff with her--to take advantage of the family-friendly environment of the Midwest; as well as, my wonderful opportunity to stay home with her. We go to the library on a weekly basis (sometimes more) and we start Parent-Tot Swim lessons tomorrow! She is excited beyond belief! I'm hoping to get out and find more activities in the community that are going on this summer. My greatest desire and ambition right now is to be a mom that DOES stuff. This week I'm going to buy Play-doh and water-color paints and anything else I see in that aisle that she could do! I just yearn to be a good mom. Others may see that and think that's so lame, but it truly is the greatest accomplishment in my life. The days when I sit back and know that I did a great job as a mom, those days, are my happiest! When we explored, tried new things, read books, played toys, snuggled, and hugged and kissed and wrestled on the ground--I know I did my job and it makes me so happy! I never thought I'd see the day when I became so elated and overwhelmed with a sense of pride because of those things--but that day is upon me and I make no excuses for it. 


Do you know what I'm talking about? Those days where you just really know that you did your job. That all the career ambitions or personal interests you set aside to be a mom, were all worth it. Will you tell me about one of those days? (Shoot, don't hold back, tell me about every single day you can remember that was like that!) I just love hearing about days when moms were awesome! I love it because, when do you ever get to talk about it in a public setting without having to hold back because of the eye rolls (either because people think being a mom is so 1950's or people hate you because you're making them look bad)?

I liked being a teacher, but I LOVE being a mom. It totally sucks somedays, but a lot of times, those are the days when I wasn't doing it right! I wasn't trying and I wasn't paying attention to J and that's why she was going cray cray by noon. So can we do this for each other? Can you leave a long comment or post about all the ridiculous things you did with your kid(s) and can we all agree to reply to each other's comments with, "You go girl!" "Slide-burns are the worst, but oh so worth it!"and other stuff like that? No one is going to try and one-up each other, it's just a no-holds-bar-euphoric-I'm the bomb dot com-comment-fest! And instead of adding lines to our stories like, "sooo that's life with a toddler!" *nervous laugh* or "the things you do when you don't talk to adults for over 10 hours" *nervous laugh, is it hot in here to anyone else????*, let's just say something hard core like "I make no excuses!" Because being a mom is hard core and I don't care what anyone else says!

I'm so excited about this, I almost forgot I haven't posted in forever so people probably aren't reading anymore, but that's okay! Whenever you see this, or think about it after you've had a "Good Mom Day", just come and comment and I will be happy and excited right along with you!

As a recap:

1. Leave a comment or link to a post where you describe a day where you were a sweet-tastic mom.
2. Be hard core and say, "I make no excuses!" at the end.
3. Reply to other people's comments or link with how hard core and awesome they are.
4. Come back and repeat whenever possible.
5. Boom.

Here are some of my, "Good Mom Day" moments,

She had been SOOOO sick, but she wanted to go outside so badly. We struggled and climbed to the very top of the jungle gym and, after all that, she was too tired to play. So we sat, and watched some squirrels. I taught her squirrels live in trees that day (funny when you realize all that they don't know) and I didn't rush her to go down a slide so we could go home, we just sat, and watched squirrles play and climb. I make no excuses.

As a family we went for a walk and randomly came across a Paddle-Boat little pond area. We went inside and found out it was only $8 total, for everyone, for 20 minutes. So we just did it, like that! No plans, no questions, we were just spontaneous and fun and J still asks to go "Ride a boat?"

Sometimes your toddler wants to wear a winter hat when it's 80 degrees out, you just roll with it and feel good about them getting to be a kid!

Sometimes your toddler likes stickers, but DOES NOT like stickers on herself. So you take one for the team and wear Anime stickers for an entire day. I make no excuses!

We went for a walk. A really long walk where I just followed everywhere she wanted to go (except for the trash compactor--being hard core does not mean being stupid).

I didn't feel like wearing sunglasses, but she LOVES when we wear them together. So we rocked those sunglasses and Maroon 5's "One More Night" for the one billionth time in a row.

Even Clifford has to hydrate. And the answer is, "No! She hardly ever wears clothes at home! And, yes! It does make her ridiculously happy and say awesome things like 'NAKEY BABY NAKEY BABY!!'" I make no excuses!

Sometimes they aren't sick, they just really want you to hold them while they sleep. And yeah, I had a ton of other stuff to do, and it made us late for a dinner invitation, but now I have this, and I make no excuses.

The Great Mediator

While we were on vacation J got really sick. I'll spare you most of the gory details, but I will tell you she was a sad sight! As a result of some of her symptoms, she had a terrible diaper rash. When I went to the doctor for that and all of her other ailments, the pediatrician (trying to appease all of my fears) prescribed her an antibiotic that would hopefully work for all of her symptoms. The antibiotic, while helpful for her ear infection, resulted in some undesirable side effects that made her diaper rash worse. I could tell she was in so much pain! At first, I thought I needed to accept our circumstances and suffer through the trial. It was unfortunate, but what else could I do? However, the pain on her face was just too much to take! I finally called the doctor to see what kind of changes to her diet I could make, or anything else I could do, to ease the side effects of the medicine. He informed me of several steps I could take, but also prescribed a less drastic antibiotic that would hopefully still be as effective.

As I was reading my scriptures today, I was overcome with emotion as I began to think of Christ's role as The Great Mediator. I believe, like many other Christian faiths, that when we leave this life there will be a judgement. We will be held responsible for what we have done, both good and bad. Our Heavenly Father is a just God, but He is also a merciful God. Christ, having endured all things and with his perfect understanding, will be able to advocate for us. No one but Christ is perfect, he understands all that I have been through and all that I will go through. He knows me better than anyone else and, because of that, will be able to mediate between the demands of justice and mercy.

Obviously, I would never want to compare myself to Christ. He is perfect and I am for from it. However, while in this life, one of my roles is to advocate for my children. I don't know if I ever truly knew what it meant to be an advocate for someone until today. Today, Christ's role as the mediator and advocate became so real.

J can't speak for herself. She doesn't understand all that is going on, just like most of us don't have a perfect knowledge of why certain events happen in this life. No one knows her like I do and no one has gone through these experiences with her like I have. I was blessed to have found a doctor where I never had to 'fight' for J, but I did have to speak up. I had to find the balance between accepting the situation we were in (justice) and searching for a better solution (mercy).

I hate when I try to write and the words I know and use can't fully describe the feelings in my heart.  That's how I feel with this post. Hopefully it is somewhat coherent and you can grasp even a glimpse of what I'm trying to convey. I'm so glad we have a savior who knows my heart and understands me in spite of my weaknesses.

Source

How to Praise Your Kids

I mentioned a few days ago my secret love of Dr. Laura. The second post I wanted to tell you about was one on how to give praise to your kids.

I love how she talks about giving "process praise." This has really opened my eyes to the way I praise J. I want my child to be a productive member of society some day. I want her to add to her surroundings and offer something to those she comes in contact with. I try not to think about how much influence I have in messing her up, for reals! It seems like anyone I've ever known that goes to therapy, the number one influence in 'why they are the way they are' is because of their parents. No pressure or anything though! ...Yikes!

I know that one weakness/strength I have in life is that I thrive on completing a task. If you were to give me a rubik's cube, I would be the kid that peeled off all of the stickers and put them back on in their segregated order. At the very least, I would look up how to do a rubik's cube on line, solve the stupid thing, and move on with life. I am not the person that finds the 'joy in journey' with tasks like those. This characteristic can be seen as a flaw because I was always so focused on the end result that I didn't develop the critical thinking skills that are so useful in life.

I remember when I was a teenager, I joined a soccer team with a new coach. I didn't know him and he didn't know me. When we went into our first tournament together, I worked my butt off to prove to him that I deserved to be on the team. He noticed and was impressed. That particular tournament gave an award to one player on each team--chosen by the coach. He chose to give me the award. From that point on I don't think I ever worked as hard for him as I did before he gave me that award. I had received his approval, accomplished my goal, and wiped my hands clean of the whole process. Obviously, as I got older I began to realize you have to keep working hard, but this is a good raw example of what can happen when kids are only focused on the end result. (I should add, I don't see how this characteristic of mine has anything to do with my parents and how they raised me. Love you, mom!)

With “process praise” – you’re commenting on their diligence and persistence.  According to a study from the University of Chicago, kids are more likely to prefer challenging tasks and believe that intelligence and personality can improve with effort than youngsters who simply hear praise directed at them personally.  It sends the message that effort and actions are the sources of success and your approval.  If you’re impressed by their effort, kids will put in more effort.  If you just say, “You’re very good at this,” that’s it – they stay at that level. They won’t try harder because they figure that they have already reached the pinnacle. 
By praising the process, actions, and strategies (e.g. “I’m impressed that you did your best and worked hard to stick with it”), kids try to do better and better to impress you and themselves.

I've been trying really hard to re-learn and adjust the way I praise J. When we come home after running errands, she's learned that she has to take her shoes and coat off and put them away before she can play. Instead of only praising her for when she puts her coat in the closet, I also praise the way she stuck with putting her coat in the closet even when it kept getting caught on the door frame. It really is a challenge to think of how to rephrase your praises, but I'm hoping it will pay off! Either way, I'm sure she's not going to end up some criminal...at least I don't think so...?

NO BODY that starts off that cute can be a criminal, amIright?

Possibly, this could, though! :)

Miscellany Monday...

Who are we kidding, many of my posts have a "Miscellany Monday" vibe to them. At least now I have an excuse! 

1. We have traded the Naked drinks for real vegetable/fruit smoothies. We realized once we bought the Naked drinks, they were heavy on the fruit and not so much with the vegetables. K is trying to talk me into getting a Blendtec. He went so far as to show me several YouTube videos demonstrating the greatness that is the Blendtec. Men have a way of taking the simplest kitchen appliance and turning it into a 3 million horse power machine...it's actually pretty impressive.

Bonus: J LOVES the smoothies. Where did this child come from? I'm not sure, but I like her.

2a. J's toddler-isms are increasing in number at a remarkable rate. She's a pretty funny and quirky kid...I like it! Sometimes when we say it's time for bed, she starts grabbing random objects and running for her bed. This particular night, the objects of choice were every. single. couch pillow. She throws them in there and asks to be put into bed.

2b. Sometimes I go to put on my shoes and find little surprises.

Anyone know a good remedy for cleaning those suede-like shoes? I tried the Nuskin shoe cleaner on a different pair and it made it look bad. These are my favorite shoes ever, so I'm afraid to ruin them.

2c. Even little lambs need to be buckled in when they eat. Side note: My late Grandma Cora collected stuffed animal lambs because she grew up on a sheep ranch. When she died, each grandchild received one of her lambs. She died when I was pregnant with J and I've always felt they had some sort of connection with each other, like they met before J came to earth...or J sort of took her place? That sounds a bit hippie-ish, but I think you catch my drift. J has always taken a special interest in her lamb "Lola" and it has slept in her crib every nights since we brought her home from the hospital.

2d. This kid can get down like no one else I've ever known. Sorry for my mom-singing-voice. She likes to combine these two songs--a little remix, if you will. Also, at the end she comes to blow raspberries (they're called Philburts (Filburts?) in our house. Just realizing I've never actually typed that word out!) on my face--as is custom at the end of any song..?

3. I can usually stay pretty strong at Costco. I eat the samples and move along. Today, they got me! Not only did they get me, they got J too. We were loving these things. Not healthy in anyway, but a wonderful blend of sweet and spicy.

 Of course, if you're anything like me, you'll eat them like this. 

I'm such a wimp with spicy food. These were too spicy for me!

Pretty much all my link-ups I find from my friend, Whitney's blog. Go check her out, she's the bomb dot com. <---I felt a need to use this saying since we've been friends since high school...throwing it way back!

Dating for moms

My sister showed me this post about how making friends as a mom is a lot like dating. She breaks it down into the different "bases of mom dating." I straight snort laughed several times throughout the post! Here are a few of my favorite lines:

I go too deep too soon, which scares off a mom just asking how many kids do I have.  ”Do you mean in my home, or in orphanages around the world?  Here locally, or in a village in Uganda?  Have you ever considered sponsoring a child?  Wait, where are you going?  Wanna hear about malaria and deworming?”

Overly-intense eye contact.  Never use while discussing homeschooling, gluten, gun control, breastfeeding, marriage, red dye number 40, infertility, or Jesus.  I may have left a few things out.  If there’s a subject that might cause you to stop blinking and/or breathing, save it for fourth base and don’t unleash it at the park.

Third base is a play date at one of our houses.  This is a tricky base because your kids are now on home court and your new friend is going to see your daughter body slam her toddler to the ground and take back the toy that he just picked up.
-Have I told you about the time when we had people over to our house a few weeks ago and J chucked her sippy cup right into their daughters forehead leaving a nice goose-egg. So there's that. 

By third base, I’m full frontal hugging, so prepare for that.  If you’re my third base friend, get ready for our boobs smashed up together while I ask how you’re doing right in your ear.  If you answer that with any kind of trauma, I’m a-gonna pull it right back together for another mash up, breathe some words of encouragement into your ear, then pull back for some heavy eye contact.  (Upon reading this, my husband informed me, “Who are you kidding?  You’re easy.  You go for full frontal hugging on first base.”  So I’m a hug-slut.  Bring it in, ladies.  I’m ready.
-Joree here, just re-reading this made me go into a snort-laugh-fit (I think I may TM that one, SLF?...go with it). It's especially funny because I'm not a big hugger, but I think I secretly want to be? I think this is a product of being one of the younger children in the family. My parents were soft by the time it got to my younger brother and I. Hugging. Lots and lots of hugging at our house. J will in fact be the weirdest child wherever she goes because even mentioning the word "sorry" around her makes her slobber kiss the closest persons face off. Embrace the awkward! One last one regarding 'Fourth Base'...

Feel free to bust out your full-blown honk laugh, talk about how soy gives you diarrhea, and how you worry that you’re a crappy mom.  You’ve found your person.  She loves you for you.

This was so timely because today J and I went to the library for the reading time they have there. Except, I'm a lame mom and didn't realize that the reading time was no longer going on. Whoops! Anyways, we went to play with the puzzles they have up in their children's section and I saw another mom I had seen at story time. She sat down at the table with J and I, and I shocked myself by openly asking about herself and her cute little boy. And then, it happened. My awkwardness could only be tamed for so long. I was lost in thought debating what I wanted to ask her next, so lost that I just stopped talking and didn't ask her any follow-ups on her recent home birth experience. Eventually, her little boy got restless and they just left. So. Weird. Bahaha, sometimes I just have to laugh at the awkwardness. One thing is certain, the awkwardness will always be here. Now, if I could only learn how to tame it for extended periods of time!

Toddler-isms

The peace offering was accepted and all is right in the world :). As I was leaving for the gym at about 9:00 pm, I heard our neighbors across the hall from us. The guy was yelling at his girlfriend and dropping F-bombs towards her. I thought to myself, "maybe I should clarify to people what my definition of 'loco' is!" haha, but, since most of you that read this blog are related to me or have spent a significant amount of time with me, I'm just going to assume you know--my loco = getting offended too easily. No f-bombs needed :). 

Yesterday was such a weird day. J went to bed a baby and woke up a real toddler. I've been calling her a toddler for months now, but she really truly became a toddler yesterday. 

We started the day with a little bed head. Whaaaaaaaat?! Yep, we have enough hair for bed head!

What's that mom, you want to tame that bed head, yeah, well I have enough hair for real pig-tails. Or as K called them last night, double pony-tails. (Poor guy grew up with only one sister, and she was way beyond pig-tails by the time he came along.)

You want me to eat my lunch, well I'm just going to negotiate this PB&J right into a little 'oo-oo-ah-ah' (translation: Curious George) and Elmo. 

I started making dinner when I heard, "Mom, watch this!"(A full sentence..? Why not?) Just chillin' out in a box. Not seen in the picture are all of her 'little people' action figures that she had piled into the box before she climbed in.

Just incase you thought I was cute, I'm going to throw a little random weirdo into the mix. I was giving K a hug when he got home from work, J decided to just camp out in between us..?

Aaaand, for a direct shot to the ovaries, big kid swing. What the what?

And yes, if you're thinking it, I'm just fine with playing into the terrible creation of a narcissistic generation all because their parents took a million photos of them each day. 

7 Days of Easter: Day 4 The Holy Ghost

Yesterday we read from John 14: 16-18 and 26 and 27. We wrapped up in blankets, read the scriptures, K and I told J the different roles the Holy Ghost plays in our lives, then each told a time where the Holy Ghost helped us.  In these verses, Christ describes the Holy Ghost as the Comforter. We wrapped up in blankets because I thought that was a good physical lesson for J to recognize what the Holy Ghost can feel like. It lasted about 5 minutes and was the perfect amount of time for J. She loved wrapping up in blankets and surprisingly sat still during the entire activity.

For K's experience, he talked about a time when he and I were newly married and weren't sure what to do with ourselves on a Friday night. We went to this really fun park near where we lived, in Utah. As we pulled in we noticed a sign that said the park had a curfew, and we were there past the curfew. K felt prompted that we should leave. As we were pulling out a cop car pulled in and stopped us. We were able to truthfully say that we were just leaving and had little to no trouble with the cop.

For my experience, I described how earlier that day when J and I were walking back from the park, I had already crossed the busy street to get back to our condo, but some geese had landed on the water behind us. I wanted to cross the street again so she could see the geese, but I had a feeling that I shouldn't, so I didn't. Nothing spectacular happened, but sometimes that's a good thing. I'm learning, especially as a mother, to always listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost because one of his roles is to protect us. I'll never know what could have happened if I crossed the street. Maybe nothing would have happened, but it was a chance to practice listening to that still small voice so that someday, when we are in real danger, I'll recognize its prompting and be blessed.

After the lesson, I went to change my clothes. When I walked out J and K were under this blanket. As I sat down on the couch I heard, "Lets hide from mom!" J even got out from under the blanket and ran back to my bedroom looking for me...all while I was sitting right next to them on the couch. Yep, I'm the sneakiest of us all!

7 Days of Easter: Day 3 "As I have loved you"

On Day 3, J and I decided to hang out at the house all day. Which has nothing and everything to do with what Day 3 was supposed to be. You see, usually J and I leave the house every morning and go to the gym, or the library, or the story, or a combination of those. As a result of us staying home, J decided she had waaaay too much energy to take a nap. J + no nap = very random day! We were going to talk about when Christ gave his commandment to love one another and draw hearts and talk about why we love each other. Instead we went to Walmart and bought Easter candy, windshield washer fluid, and a nightlight....that was entirely too bright for her room. For once in our lives, LEDs are not as great as the old school dim night lights. Speaking of, does anyone know where we can get one of those? We are at a loss!

Here's a nice example of just how not super mom I am...and I'm totally okay with that! Although no nap day was sort of disastrous, we did have fun! A few pictures of what J did with all her energy that day:

 Clifford, or "Arph" as J likes to call him, got a good nap in...even if J didn't.

And J's baby was well fed and taken care of.

7 Days of Easter: Day 2 Service

Tonight's activity will be taken from John 13. I'll have to update afterwards once we see how it goes. This is the chapter where Christ realizes that his crucifixion is coming. He washes the feet of the apostles.

As a personal side note, even if you don't want to do the cheesy activities each night, I'd recommend reading through the chapters leading up to Christ crucifixion this week. I felt a sense of peace, sorrow, and familiarity as I read it. Peace because I know the outcome and am so grateful for his sacrifice. Sorrow because it's just sad. It's sad how the world can turn on the good, even today. Familiarity because, as you read the words that Christ spoke as he was with his peers, you really get a sense of who he is--and that's the best feeling in the world! To feel like  you have a small understanding of such a miraculous being.

Tonight, we will read through John 13. We may read 1-17, or 14-17, or just summarize...it will all depend on J's attention span at the time. I'm trying to remember why I'm doing this--so we focus on the true meaning of Easter--and not get caught up on the parts that I love the most and leave J in the dust.

After that, we'll each choose something out of the ordinary that we can do to serve each other. We'll preform the act either the next day (last night we did this right before bed) or that tonight. Obviously, this part will be more for K and I, but I feel like the more focused we are, the better off it will be for J.

It's interesting, as I read through this post I kept having the thought pop into my head, "She's so little, she will hardly understand the commercial part of Easter. None of this will make a difference." There's some truth to that, but I also feel like sometimes with parenting it's just about the habits we set for ourselves from the beginning. J also doesn't understand why she says 'thank you' or 'please,' but it's easier if we start those habits now while she's young so she doesn't know any different later on in life. I'll be honest, these habits are more for me than they are for her. If there's one thing in life that I want to be good at, it's parenting. These habits are to help myself, later on in her life, to be a good parent.

Source 

(you can download this picture here)

Update: J got way into this one and loved to look at this picture of Christ. She also really enjoyed rubbing our feet and pretending like she was washing them...foot rub for the win!

7 Days of Easter: Day 1 Palm Sunday

Last week I started thinking about how it's odd that there isn't more talk of Easter activities. There are whole months with day by day activities dedicated to preparing for Christmas and focusing on the true meaning of the birth of Christ. Which is awesome! That's how it should be! It just feels like there should be more of that for Easter, too. Without the atonement and the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the birth of Christ wouldn't have meant that much. I hope that doesn't come across as super harsh or sac religious. I just mean that Christ's mission wasn't complete until his resurrection.

Now, if I was a normal crafty mom, I would have just looked up activities online. Pinterest is bound to have something like the 7 Days of Easter. Or I would have made up really cool and creative activities. But I'm not, I'm a, "it's the end of nap-time and if I want to do a week long Easter thing I better plan something quick" mom. The truth is, even if I had all the time in the world, we probably still would have done what we did (ha). We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as moms and this was supposed to be a fun activity that taught J about the true meaning of Easter. In fact, I'm going to shoot for something every night, but I can tell you right now, there's a chance it won't happen. That's life with a toddler! We can't beat ourselves up about it, just try again the next day. Here's what we did today:

I gave J a brief synopsis of what was happening around the time of Palm Sunday. [Christ had recently raised Lazarus from the dead. This act was the tipping point. Naysayers couldn't deny his power any longer--not just anyone can raise a man from the dead. On the flip side, this act showed many Jews that he was, in deed, the Christ they had been waiting for. As Christ journeyed to Jerusalem, many went out to meet him. "Took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord." (John 12:13 KJV).]

To be fair her synopsis went like this,

Me: so Jesus, we love Jesus, right?

J: Yep! (she enjoys saying 'Yep' and 'Nope' and is getting pretty good at figuring out which I want her to use)

Me: He raised a guy, Lazarus, from the dead. Pretty cool, right?

J: Yep!

Me: Some people didn't like that and were mad. But others were happy, what does it look like when we're happy?

J: (not the actual moment, but the same face was made)

Me: So Jesus came on a donkey and people that loved him laid biiiiig (hand motions were involved) leaves out for him and they said "HOSANNA, HOSANNA!"(we like to yell at our house) Say, "Hosanna."

J: attempts, see video

Then we colored palm leaves, tried to talk J into getting in traditional garb (she wasn't having it) and reenacted the triumphal entry. At first I thought, "Is this sac religious?" But then I remembered earlier in nap time when I researched where the Easter Bunny came from (here and here)*, and I figured Christ would care more about her knowing the real story and true meaning. 

Our reenactment + a nice little dash of real life! Toddlers are fun :)

*Note: This was very scientific research. I typed in "Where did the Easter Bunny come from?" and clicked on the first two links google had. Also note, my child does wear pants, just not very often. YOLO, peeps!

Discovering who I am

In the past several months I've been giving a lot of thought to the question, "Who am I?" It seems that giving up my career and becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM) has given me the chance to reflect on who I was in the past and who I want to be in the future.

The other day I was talking to Sister #1 about being bored. She had read an article about how it can be good for your children to be bored because it causes them to use their creativity and imagination to entertain themselves. If you're a SAHM, you're probably thinking, "Rarely am I bored." I would agree 100% with that sentiment, however, I definitely have more opportunities as a SAHM to think. When I was a teacher (Medical Anatomy and Physiology, Medical Terminology, Health, and Introduction to Health Science) my days would consist of faculty meetings, teaching, planning, grading, emailing, calling home, meetings with the HOSA club I sponsored, K would drop J off to me at work at the end of the day, J and I would stay after school to grade and help students with their work, we'd go home, clean, cook dinner, eat, go to bed. Not a lot of time for deep observations on my life.

It seems at various stages of my life, I've always had some outside force as my identifying characteristic. When I was in high school I was either "the soccer player" or "the mormon" and as an adult I was "a teacher." While I can still be identified as "a mom," there is a lot more room in my life for further exploration of interests. It's actually very exciting! However, there has been more than one occasion when I've thought to myself, "What the heck do I even like?" or "Do I have an opinion on that?" I honestly just never had or took the time in the past to consider these questions.

One of the reasons I started blogging was because I wanted to document this journey as I sift through my emotions, thoughts, and feelings to determine who I am. I want to have a dynamic life where I have many interests, but most of all, I want to feel like I am actually living my life. What a waste to just get up every morning and go through the motions. I don't believe that's why we're here. I feel we are here on this earth to have experiences, to gain knowledge, and help others.

Here is what I know so far:

I am a disciple of Christ. I sincerely want to live my life as he did. I feel like shaping my life after the pattern that Christ set for us will lead us to eternal happiness.

I am a wife. I've been blessed with a husband that cares about our relationship and our family unit. I want to be better at being a wife.

I am a mom. I take being a mother very seriously, but not too seriously, because this kid needs to have fun too! Recently I've started following C. Jane Kendrick's blog. I don't always see eye-to-eye with her views, but I do like the way she makes me think about my beliefs. I have a few posts coming up on some of those experiences.

I love the human body. I'm hoping to get back into researching and sharing the different aspects of the human body that both amaze and confuse me! One aspect of being a SAHM that worried me is that I didn't want to be someone that could only talk about my kids. I want to continue to learn and grow, this is the major area I want to do that in. Someday I will go back to teaching, I'm hoping that transition can be as painless as possible.

Is anyone else/has anyone else had the feeling you weren't sure who you were? What process did/are you going through with it?

Tell me your thoughts on the subject--the good, the bad, and the ugly!

And, because we haven't had pictures in awhile:

J photo-documented one of many trips we took to Ikea. You're welcome.

"Tee-too"

Gratitude is a very important skill to hone in this life. I say skill because I've learned that being grateful really is an element to life that we can all have, but it takes work to make it a habit. K and I both want J to realize all that she has and to be grateful for it. To me, the more grateful J is, the less likely she is to feel entitled and fall victim to the current generational trends. We've started this process by having her say, "Thank you" for eeeeeveeeerrrrryyyything. She's gotten pretty good at it! (Side note: she's gotten so good that I think she may have just used it passive-aggressively. I kept trying to help her put on this headband (she doesn't like me helping her with anything anymore (should she be old enough for that???)) and she got so fed up with me that she just firmly placed it in my hand and said with a big sigh, "TEE-TOO")

With most situations as a parent, as I start to think about what I want to teach J, I start to realize my own weaknesses in that area. You know that saying, "The secret to having it all is believing that you do." Cheeeeesy, but it's so true! With all the different social media outlets, it's so hard to look at what other people are saying, doing, or wearing and not long for more. K and I almost bought a house in the Fall of 2011, but when we would pray about it we felt like we shouldn't do it. No one wanted to tell the other person that we weren't so sure, so we kept moving forward. Finally, one night we sat in bed, the lights on, both of us just sitting up and awake and we both just knew. We turned to each other and had a little confession about how we knew we weren't supposed to buy the house. (Fast forward one hear later and here we are not even in the same state as the house we would have bought. Thank goodness for answers to prayers!) This experience taught me a lot, but it also left me somewhat tainted.

 As we look for places to rent in Chicago I get so disappointed looking at all the old laminate flooring and nasty plastic cabinets. Sometimes all I can think about are the beautiful brand new "espresso" cabinets we could have had! But then I remember, I'm only 26(ish), when my parents were my age they were living in some super random and small apartment while my dad went to law school. K and I really do have A LOT compared to most people, not just in the world, but the U.S. in general. It really is all about perspective. Understanding and appreciating all that you do have and just being happy with that. I swear, the need to compare is one of the WORST parts of human nature. So today, instead of getting annoyed as I search through the ads for the bajillionth (actual number) time, I will remember to be grateful K has (a) a job, (b) a job he loves, (c) a job that pays the bills and lets me stay home.

And, because we can't have a post without ANY pictures, here's your daily J fix! You're welcome.

 This kid is alllll about her baby and her stroller!

Also, very big into dressing up. First time I've ever felt like a normal size human...when my toddler was wearing my clothes! :) 

For 2 seconds let yourself think about the one thing you would love to have if money and situation weren't an issue. What is it?
A house! for sheezy

Now I'll come back to reality and remember why I wrote this post. Tell me what you have found helps you to remain grateful?

The truth..

Sooo, you know how I've been all excited about going to have a sisters weekend in Portland? Well, that's still true, but, not..? J has been alive for 19 months and in that time we have never spent a night away from each other. I'm starting to get that same feeling I had before I had to go back to work over a year ago. The one where I nursed her one last time at 5 am before I got out of bed to get ready...and then I just sat there bawling for another 30 minutes before I REALLY had to get up and get ready to go (apparently teachers being at work on the first day of school is a big deal). It's literally one night, most likely not even a full 24 hours. But it's just weird. I will have NO idea if she wakes up in the night--awesome, but sad? And K is not one of those dads that's clueless, I was blessed for sheezy when it came to that department. But  it's still just strange to have been with someone every single night for 19 months and 4 days, and then you're not! I just re-read this and I sound like the most stereotypical annoying mom ever, but people, check out this baby and tell me she's not where it's at

Homegirl has got some serious spunk!